Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
