It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
