Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
