Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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