is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
