i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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