Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
