But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
