I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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