So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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