My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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