i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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