Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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