So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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