Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize