check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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