Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
