thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
