So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
