i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
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