My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
