she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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