i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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