hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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