remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
