i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
