we're blogging at a bar
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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