she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize