uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
