Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
