I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
operation have a gay friend backfired
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
