Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You may now shotgun with the bride
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
