that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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