are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
