Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
