I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
