well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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