well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I have post one night stand depression
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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