Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize