I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
