see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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