You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
