That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
