So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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