Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
She needs sedatives and a leash
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
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