Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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