Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
