remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
