Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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