I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
