dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
