Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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