Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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