so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
