Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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