He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We were destined to go to rehab together
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize