Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
ok first of all what the fuck
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
