the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
