I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
