You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
