Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Having a random hookup so left but love u
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
