if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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