Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
