are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
