we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
