just come out here and I will go home with you...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
