Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
