I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
