Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize