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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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