I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Randomize
