I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
