why didn't you poke me back
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
