If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize