That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
