How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
