one word: firstdatebathroomanal
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize