That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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