Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
